The Bodhisattva

I listen to a lot of comic book related podcasts as kind of background while I’m doing Bookspot related stuff and when I work out.  While I’m sure also of are used to hearing our names it always strikes me dumbfounded when I hear it on what is essentially a radio. No matter how short or absolutely inconsequential the part is (and they all are - believe me) I do rewind that bitch and listen again and again to total strangers utter the name. Hell, it is rumored I put them all on one disc and just listen to them in a loop - and no longer even listen to podcasts anymore - but that is a rumor. This has occurred a few times, most recently via a shout-out on the Only the VALIANT and it caused me to remember another occasion that had caused me to put Dan Didio (the EIC of DC Comics) on surveillance as I was put on to his shenanigans by the Comicgeekspeak Podcast, and specifically by a special operative known to the comic community as ‘Pants’, but  has a hidden rank with the big boy book clubs we frequent. At the 55th minute of this episode earlier this year the term “Tomio’ caught my attention and through intense tech stuff that I  neither know the name of or can describe its application I was able to decipher that over a meal (breaking bread if you will) they were discussing Dan Didio carelessly and nonchalantly  talking about official Bodhisattva property. Now we all know that this goes against all rules as a former Bodhisattva once said:

“Don’t ask me about my business”

Now, I’m using a slightly  expanded use of those famous words, “Don’t ask or answer anybody else about  my business even if you don’t know who I am or that I’m in any sense related to the question” . In this DC podcast a question is asked of Didio at the NY Comic Con about the status of Batman Beyond in the DC Universe, to which he replies that he (Batman Beyond)  has appeared once already on a single page in  Countdown (don’t hold that against it - Batman  Beyond is sweetness - I mean Batman is awesome, and he is beyond, afterall)  Now in the same statement Didio indirectly calls me ‘really smart’ and for this, it is not hard to figure out why the man is the head of a company that employs talent, but at the same time he promotes activity that is in direct violation of my wa. What are we without our harmony, I ask? Chaos people, pure chaos -and what did Rozer Zelazny teach us about chaos?  It’s a long walk to watch a  funeral, and by ushering people that were (taking the Didio equation and playing with it) not smart enough to purchase it in the beginning to query me on the page he now has caused the battle chant (originally composed by another Bodhisattva, a late, great, ashy fellow) of our order to play furiously in my head:

Call the coroner
there’s gonna be alot of slow singin
and flower bringin
if my burgular alarm starts ringin
whatcha think all the guns is for?
all purpose war got the rottweilers by the door
and I feed em gun powder so they can devour
the criminals tryin to clock my decimals
DAMN..fanboys wanna stick my for my C.R.E.A.M.
And it ain’t a dream things aint always how it seems
it’s the ones that smoke blunts witcha
see your picture, now they wanna
grab they guns and come and getcha
Bethca Biggie won’t slip
I got the calico with the black talons loaded in the clip
so I can rip through the ligaments
put they bodies in a bad prediciment
where all the foul fanboys went
Touch my cheddar, feel my Beretta
Buck with what I had you with
you motherfuckers betta duck
I bring pain, blood stains on what remains
Of his jacket, he had a gun he should’ve packed it
Cocked it, extra clips in my pocket
so I can reload and explode down ya rasshole
I fuck around and get hardcore
C4 to ya door no beef no more
feel the rush scandalous
The more weed smoke I puff the more dangerous
I dont give a fuck about you or your weak crew
What you gonna do when Big Poppa comes for you
I’m not runnin, fanoby I bust my gun in
Hold on I hear somebody comin……..

WARNING!

Now the page in question (currently being held at an undisclosed location) is this baby right here:

For this attack on my sovereignty I now demand free copies of Final Crisis and a lifetime subscription to the sweetness that is House of Mystery as long as it is being published -  as it seems my local shop for some reason only stocks silly Marvels -  and an Amanda Conner (it’s about time she’s brought back into the fold) sketch.

Until my demands are met, I will think powerful, negative thoughts that ultimately will give me a headache and will most assuredly have no other tangible effect but will possibly inspire a future Vertigo title when my head explodes revealing the 6th world.

We will always love Big Poppa.