Forging an Art

Sonny With a Chance was the bomb yet again . . . I totally thought that Tawny was the culprit, but I won’t give it away but saying who it actually was.  A cheese ball bomb, though?  Just hilarious.  The hick town joke-off contest was terrific, too – never a dull moment on this show.  We love our Demi, and the rest of the cast is a perfect fit for her.

The not-so-sunny side of this weekend – really, Carl Edwards is just a tool.  Wrecking a bunch of kids in the Nationwide race, on purpose?  Grow up, man.  Getting loose and bumping another car is one thing, but intentional driving into another car is another, and that isn’t aggressive, that is called assault and is intent to harm.  Nice job collecting a field of kids behind you just so you could win the race.  This is the sort of behavior that will get the Cup drivers booted out of the Nationwide set, damaging the potential for the drivers just moving up to get more practice as they prepare to compete – properly – with the big boys.  What a moron.  And where was the black flag, anyway?  Did NASCAR officials misplace it, or are they just afraid to use it?

Tony’s Car Decaled - time lapse video

The list of nominees for the NASCAR Hall of Fame inaugural class of 2010 are:

Infineon made for great racing last weekend – although my boy came in second, it wasn’t for lack of effort.  Kahne had a better car, end of story.  Now, second ain’t first, but Stewart, Kahne, and to be honest, the whole field put on a great show for viewers.  For those who don’t find road courses as exciting as ovals, this was for them.  August 9 – Mid-Ohio for the Indy Car series.  My daughter loves road courses and this will be her first time at a live road course race.  It was going to be her first live race, period, but I discovered that Stewart, Kahne, and Blaney are racing at Sharon on July 7, so we’re heading that way in less than two weeks.  It’s only an hour away, so, regardless of budget issues, I can’t pass it up.  The tickets are cheaper than those for last Saturday’s ARCA race.  Speaking of which . . .

“Four wide! Four wide!” My dad kept hollering, in awe of the aggression we witnessed the entire evening at Mansfield Motorsports Park on Saturday.  The Lincoln Truck race winner was Dave Jackson, and the Tim Richmond Memorial ARCA 200 winner was 18 year old Parker Kligerman, who graduated from high school the night before.  Also competing that evening was 75 year old James Harvey Hilton, who started his career as crew chief to Rex White back in ’62.  The only downside to the show was the continuous movement of attendees who weren’t watching the race, but moving around to socialize and buy vats of hot dogs.  Seriously, how many nasty racetrack hot dogs can one man eat?  The guy two rows behind us came back from the stand holding three at a time, and made at least five visits.  The drunk a row down and in front of us insisted on walking up to the fence and waving his arms around at nothing; this was particularly annoying because my dad and I were trying to take pictures.  My dad mumbled something at another man as he walked in front of my dad, who was clearly holding a camera in front of him and attempting to shoot, and when my dad returned to his seat he made a confession.  “I used the ‘f’ word.”  I shook my head in disbelief.  I have never heard my dad use that word; he doesn’t believe in swearing in front of women or children.  I know my brother has heard him, but me, that’s a different story.  “You didn’t!” I replied, shocked.  He smiled back at me.  “I called him an effing moron.”  See?  He still didn’t say it in front of me, but to admit that he had, and even to say ‘effing,’ was huge.  I felt like a grown up for a moment there.

Before the race, Richmond’s sister Sandy spoke over the phone to thank fans and the racing series for honoring her brother, who won the Daytona ARCA 200 back in 1981, followed by 13 NASCAR races.  He was also the 1980 Indianapolis 500 Rookie of the Year, finishing ninth in the race.  A versatile and talented driver, Richmond was lost to racing and the world in 1989.  Twenty years later, it was high time to honor this driver, both as a racing phenom and as a man, and only appropriate to do so close to his hometown of Ashland, Ohio.

More racing/car pics here.

This is just way too fun not to share – go Brian Vickers!  What a great idea . . .  Red Bull Pit Stop.

Yeah, ten years ago that bald big mouthed jerk wouldn’t have walked away in one piece.  Really, who talks back to Tony Stewart?  I don’t think so.

Nothing like calling the longest race of the year on account of rain.  What happened to those rain tires Goodyear pulled out last year?  Get those babies out and crank it up.  And don’t call a caution every time a drop of rain falls from the sky – what a long day of off and on again racing, and a big disappointment for drivers who knew they could finish better and fans who wanted to watch a race.  At least Newman finished second, which is some consolation.

Billy, keep that trap shut and you might learn something from the two time champ next time your boy needs a lesson.

Dare I mention the Indy 500?  Can’t stand Helio, and his bawling over his glass of milk was appalling.  Have some dignity, man.  With Kanaan and Marco Andretti out, the party was over for me.  Sure, Danica caught third for AGR, and I was surprised she actually made some passes out there; and John Andretti didn’t do too badly.  Marco just can’t catch a break.  Speaking of the Indy 500 – there’s only one driver who competed in, and completed, the Indianapolis 500 and the Coca Cola 600 on the same day.  Hey, Billy, wanna take a guess?

I don’t know when I have been more excited after a race than I was Saturday night.  I was at my parents’, as usual, watching with my dad, who was nodding off in his easy chair.  I was on the sofa with my daughter sleeping in my lap, and my parents’ Cairn terrier was snuffling in his sleep on the loveseat.  My dad and I were complaining heavily before he fell asleep; the break before those last ten laps was ridiculous and unnecessary.  Really, I told my dad, do you think the drivers want to sit around and talk to the press, or finish up this bad boy?  My dad was shaking his head and rolling his eyes.  It was late, though, and one can only expect someone who works as hard as my dad does to keep his eyes open so long when no one is gunning it on the track.  He was vaguely aware when the last leg began, and when the tension between Newman, Busch, and Gordon began to get interesting – to say the least – he perked up.  Gordon bought the farm – nothing for us to cry about – and Kenseth and Busch worked the track until Kenseth took over.  Unfortunately, Newman, who looked like he might take that trophy, cut a tire after an arduous battle from nearly two laps down.  Stewart was biding his time, staying out of trouble and sneaking around as he has been doing all season; the annoucers suddenly sounded surprised that he was even there.  When he passed Kenseth on lap 99 and pulled away, my dad assured me that he would win.  Unless something happens, it’s his, he told me.  We both know that anything can happen, though, at any time – including the last lap and the last second.  Fortunately, Stewart’s usual tenacity paid off and the smile behind the wheel when he pulled into Victory Lane was the same as the one he wore when he took second in his first All-Star Race in 1999.  With his first win as owner/driver of Stewart-Haas Racing, second place in the points standing, teammate Ryan Newman’s eighth place point standing, and his World of Outlaws drivers first and second place in the WoO standings, it’s all good; next Sunday’s double header of the Indy 500 (go Tony Kanaan, Marco and John Andretti, and AGR!) and the Coca Cola 600, should make it hard to get to sleep Sunday night.  Those people who say car racing is boring have never actually watched an entire race – and that is their loss.  I am excited enough to make up for any disinterest out there. 

Yes, I voted for Joey Logano, but wasn’t certain that he would make the Fan Vote.  My mom apparently did, because right before the announcement, she wandered into the room and said, “Joey Logano!”  What kind of a ride has this boy been on?  A year ago he hadn’t even parked his behind in a Nationwide car, never mind a Cup car, and here he is, taking over the 20 and rocking the show with the big boys, finishing eighth.  Don’t underestimate the power and intelligence of Joe Gibbs; he knows talent and how to nuture it.  He also knows how to turn the opening prayer into a calling for drivers and fans alike to remember who we are as a NASCAR family – a Christian community who knows where we came from, who created us, and to whom we will return.  “We are not accidents,” he reminded listeners, with the certainty and integrity we expect from the Coach.

Looks like Michael McDowell is still the disaster magnet he was last season, as he demonstrated quite dramatically in last night’s Nationwide race when his car exploded.  And Kyle Busch?  Well, the wunderkind still has it and knows how to work it.  Nationwide and Camping World wins within hours of each other, and going into Fontana today, who knows?  Kyle’s a great kid and has already shown his commitment to JGR by helping new teammate Joey Logano adjust to life in the 20, which is a big seat to fill.  And my boy Tony – well, all’s well in SHR world and he is the man to beat at Fontana.  Let’s go racin’!

Mansfield belongs to the Earnhardts.

The predominant theme of t-shirts, caps, and miscellaneous accessories at the Ohio 250 on May 24 was Junior and his daddy. There was a flicker of orange and the 20, along with a few Kasey Kahne admirers, but most of the red was the 8, and all of the green was the 88. The black was shared between the 3 and Harley-Davidson, heavy on the 3. The first shirt we noticed, however, had nothing to do with NASCAR. A large fiftyish gentleman proudly displayed “If you find a girl willing to wash your truck, keep her,” with the image of a painfully well-endowed blonde with a garden hose in her hand and a smile on her face. My dad shook his head and grinned when I pointed it out. He shakes his head a lot, and that day was no exception.

My parents and I made the short drive from Akron to Mansfield, expecting an hour and half but discovering on our arrival that it had taken only an hour. My mother and I are well-travelled on the route, as it leads directly to the Mansfield Reformatory and its younger equivalent, Richland Correctional. In my mother’s family, “going to college” is a euphemism for “going to prison,” and since someone is always acquiring a “higher education” for one reason or another, we have made several trips to visit “students” of the State of Ohio. Saturday, however, we drove right past the old girl and on to Mansfield Motorsports Park.

We were first approached by teenaged girls selling programs for five dollars each. I noticed a pleasant looking man who was the mirror image of Jeff Burton, so much that I looked again, more closely. My parents decided to have Italian sausage sandwiches before the race, which gave me some time to check out the crowd of black, red, and green, and the recurring figure of Jeff Burton’s twin. Some unfortunate-looking men walked around, beer and cigarettes in hands, with ill-advised shirts: Drink Til You Want Me; Black Mountain Brewery: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 1989; and Almost As Good As Chocolate. Surprisingly, they were all accompanied by women. My mother had the misfortune of discovering the last one, a bright red shirt on a well-rounded fiftyish man. She looked at the back as he walked away, expecting to see an advertisement for candy, and started to shake violently when she realized what he meant by wearing it. Laughing behind my hand, I nudged my dad, who at 62 is in better physical shape than almost any man I know of any age.

My mom was surprised by the size of the trucks. “They’re so little,” she mused, and my dad began to explain the road equivalent. “But I thought they were, you know, monster trucks.” My mom comes up with some interesting notions now and then, but the look my dad and I exchanged verified that this was the top of the line for her. “Go ahead and laugh at me,” she growled, smiling, so we did.

We noticed a lot of Con-Way Freight t-shirts and caps making their way up and down the steps beside us before we realized that we were sitting in the Colin Braun fan section. Turn two was packed with Braun supporters of all ages, although I do not believe that the man with the “F.B.I.: Federal Bureau of Intoxication” shirt was one of them.

I watched the Jeff Burton double walk around the track alone. This seemed a little strange, but then again, there is a wax museum not far from Mansfield called Biblewalk (the name speaks for itself), so strange is a relative term in Ohio.

We spent the next few hours trying to keep up with some rather aggressive driving. Ron Hornaday pushed like a fiend through the field from the start, daring anyone not to notice him, but took a hit on lap 47 as he battled Mike Skinner for the lead. A few drivers kicked up some dust when they hit the wall in front of us, and Scott Lagasse took a beating so quickly that I couldn’t get my camera in front of my eyes fast enough to get pictures before it was over. There is not a lot of room in those turns, not enough for three trucks without taking a chance, so it must have been a gambling day. My dad held up three fingers a good part of the race, indicating three wide, mostly in turns three and four on the opposite end of the track. These drivers were as pushy as Cup regulars, so looking away for a moment to wipe the dust from our eyes could bring us back to a lead change or a wreck that was unpredictable seconds earlier.

At the very end – quite literally – a young rookie upset the field by taking the checkered flag. In a move that Rick Crawford would later call “ridiculous,” this boy tapped David Starr in turn two and moved up on his back bumper in turn three, turning Starr sideways and beating him to the finish by less than a quarter of a second. The crowd, on its feet amidst applause, collectively turned to each other and asked, “Who is Donny Lia?”

I stepped down to the fence to catch some photographs of the trucks and drivers as they remained parked on the track. A small crowd formed beside me where Rick Crawford was signing programs and hats. As I stepped up behind the group, a woman yelled out, “So, when you’re driving in your truck, do you get rattled around a lot?” Clearly, Crawford has more patience and tact than I have. He ignored her, while I wanted to ask her if she had always been stupid, or if it was something new. He was serious as he talked to his fans, carefully signing each item and responding to legitimate comments and questions. His boyish smile belied his years, and as the last in line, I was lucky I caught him before he called out, “drive home safely” to those of us who still lurked behind the fence.

Donny Lia
NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series

is today, so I have to get some sort of ice cream treat for my kids within the next 24 hours or the SC will start gnawing on my arm.  He’s our boy, and when he does good, we get sugar.   During the SC’s spring break in March we drove a little ways to get his autograph on the books True Speed and Rebel with a Cause.  I posted the travelogue on nascar.com and might add it here as a page.  The Craftsman truck adventure with my parents this Saturday will definitely merit telling, as if I need another writing assignment.

Today I have to read Sold by Patricia McCormick for the book discussion group I hold at the local alternative high school.  I will be going over there right after I get in to work tomorrow morning, and while I have read it before it has been awhile.  From what the teacher told me, they are very excited about this title.  These kids like the real thing, so if we read something that sounds patronizing or trite, they tear it up.  This one certainly does not fall into either category, so we should have a good meeting tomorrow.  It will be the last for this school year, then many of the participants will hopefully graduate and I won’t see them next year.  Some of them come into the library and visit me, so maybe they will keep it up. 

I am certain that my daughter is the only student in her school to have seen a race car driver over her spring break. Nearly two months ago, we drove the hour and a half from Tallmadge (read: Akron), Ohio to Cranberry Township (read: Pittsburgh), Pennsylvania to get autographs from the man in orange. We had no idea what to expect, so we left the day open to adventure, as she put it, at the Depot.
The DeWalt show car was waiting in the parking lot when we pulled in around 11:45 that morning. My daughter wasn’t sure who drove the 17, but when she asked if we liked that driver I said, “Arby’s curly fries.” That was a yes, and she knew it. She ran for the line that had started inside but was about a hundred deep outside, and flipped open her pink and blue ice cream patterned lawn chair.
“How long until he gets here?”
I walked out into the lot to take pictures of the 17 while she held down the fort. Armed with her Nintendo DS and a Bunnicula novel, along with a set of Magic Tree House Uno cards and a box of bee-shaped honey graham crackers, she was ready for the long haul. Within the next hour, a flourish of orange and black clad fans flocked to the orange barrels and orange and checkered flags that roped off the line. The man who sat behind us settled in with his headphones and a banana that looked like it had seen better days. It wasn’t long before the woman behind him struck up a conversation.
“I don’t know what to say to him. I’m just going to say ‘I love you,’ because that’s the truth. I hope I don’t pass out.”
At this, my daughter and I smiled at each other over our Uno game, and the banana man asked us who usually won at cards.
“She does,” I said, honestly, although I had beaten her three times in a row and she was ready to play Purr Pals on the DS to recover some of her dignity. In the sea of orange and black that surrounded us, I noticed a little further up the line a blue folding chair with the 24 on the back. I pointed out this anomaly, and my daughter began to growl. Like a dog. The banana man’s eyes grew wide.
“After we get our wristbands, I need to go get my helmet for him to sign. Can I leave my chair here?”
I assured him his place when he came back, with the expectation that he would do the same for me.
“There’s only so long a little girl can go without visiting the ladies room,” I mentioned, and he agreed. A little girl in a stroller in front of us whined, “potty” and her older sister, all of maybe ten years old but wearing more blue eye shadow that I was allowed to wear during my entire high school career, picked her up to take her into the store. Their mother was arguing with their father over her Sidekick.
“When are we getting home? What does he think this is?” she railed at her phone.
With my daughter engaged in virtual cat play, I took a few minutes to watch as the line seemed to multiply exponentially. It grew past the flags and barrels and into the parking lot, where the Stewart trailer was selling a variety of merchandise for those who needed something for him to autograph or, as the woman behind the banana man noted, just wanted more Tony stuff. She showed me the silver watch she recently bought.
“Every time I call to order something, I say, ‘this is the biggest Tony Stewart fan in the world,’ and you know, it’s his aunt, and she knows me. My husband says he is the reason I get up in the morning, and he’s right. It’s pathetic, but here I am.”
She smiled as she said this, cozy in her Tony Stewart pants, tshirt, sweatshirt, and jacket. She had a beaded 20 bracelet and silver 20 earrings. I felt like a slacker. The only Stewart-wear I had on was my 20 belly ring, and unlike some of the other female fans, I wasn’t displaying my midsection in the 45 degree weather.
The buzz was loud as perfect strangers become fast friends, and the two o’clock wristband distribution loomed closer.
“We have season tickets to Watkins Glen – we are just down the street.”
Wow, and I thought we had come a long way.
“Pocono. I never miss a race.”
My daughter listened along with me, a little intimidated by the crush of orange and black, the cigarette smoke, and guffaws from the group behind us.
“Is that far away?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.
I nodded just as the wristband people arrived, shouting out instructions and rules as they moved up and down the lines, wrapping the strips of orange paper around our right wrists. It was nearly 2:30 when we left to grab lunch at the local A&W (which, strangely enough, was paired with a Long John Silver’s) and rushed back for the next round of waiting.
Soon after our return, a DJ rolled out his laptop and speakers as the crowd watched.
“Are there any Tony Stewart fans out there?”
The mass of orange and black yelled as one collective beast.
“Yeah!”
For the next hour, we were treated to a variety of shuffle-inducing songs, from the swing sound of Glen Miller to the eighties groove with Pat Benatar. The banana man and I were pleasantly surprised when Earth, Wind and Fire took over.
“I bet this isn’t what most of these people listen to.”
I smiled in agreement, watching as most of the crowd continued to talk, ignoring the music as he and I sang along. The world seemed to shift on its axis, however, when someone started explaining how Billy had his beer goggles on. Everyone, except the two of us and my daughter, who was busy kicking at an orange bucket, knew the words to that one. They were dancing, alone and with each other, and even the kids knew about Billy and his broken heart. The banana man shouted over the chorus.
“What did you bring for him to sign?”
He held his helmet, safe in its fabric pouch, close to his heart as I pulled two books out of my purse.
“Books? You brought books?”
He scowled at me good naturedly. At this point I was pretty sure that among the hats, tshirts, photos, cars, helmets, and the solitary gas can from Indianapolis Motor Speedway, I was the only fan with books. My daughter petted the covers of Rebel with a Cause and True Speed lovingly.
“I’m a librarian,” I explained. He nodded in understanding.
The woman behind him was hopping up and down.
“I hope I don’t pass out. I hope I don’t pass out.”
The couple behind her was talking about Kevin Harvick. She was crocheting something blue, and he was waxing poetic about Harvick. My daughter stuck out her tongue. We both saw that last race.
The DJ moved from “Play That Funky Music White Boy” to “I Can’t Drive 55,” and we all screamed along as my daughter clung to the front of my coat, enjoying the ride but still unsure of where it would take her. When the chicken dance came up, she quickly moved into action, displaying her knowledge of a dance I never taught her.
“Where did you learn how to do that?” I asked. She shrugged.
After “YMCA,” the DJ regretted that it was time for him to move inside for the last hour before Tony arrived. A collective moan rose from the group. Many fans were well equipped with Home Depot promotional materials that had been vaulted into the crowd during the past hour, including pens, picture cube puzzles, aprons, and a combination screwdriver and flashlight.
“Look, Mommy, there’s a flat one and a Phillips one, too.”
I was once again awed by my child’s knowledge. When I was eight I had no idea there were different screwdriver heads, never mind what they were called.
As five o’clock approached, the crowd became excited. I could almost smell it, and I’m not talking about the Aqua Net, White Shoulders, and cigarette smoke that had been the rampant odors of the afternoon. A Home Depot employee waved his hands in front of us to catch our attention, and as a hush fell and heads turned, he spoke.
“Tony’s running a little late. President Bush came into Pittsburgh this afternoon and his security protocol has made it hard for Tony to get here. He’ll be here, though, he’s on his way.”
Someone yelled out, clearly annoyed, “Who cares about Bush?”
“He’s our president!” someone else hollered back.
After the Home Depot employee reassured us that Tony would still sign for two hours, regardless of his time of arrival, the unrest settled.
“Well, we’ve been here six hours anyway, what’s another hour?”
It wasn’t that long, though, before the line started to move and the woman behind the banana man looked like she was going to cry.
“I keep wanting to go to the bathroom and check my makeup.”
I shook my head.
“Don’t worry, you look fine. I don’t think he’ll have time to really notice us anyway. Five hundred or so people, two hours to sign, he’s really under the gun.”
She nodded, clearly disappointed. My daughter started to jump up and down, and as we stepped into the store, I could feel my face flush. We were really going to meet Tony Stewart.
He was fast with that pen. I watched him sign, smile, laugh, all the while keeping the line moving so that as many fans as possible got autographs. I noticed that his hair was gone and I pouted a little. By the time we reached the front of the line and a man took my books and asked where I wanted Tony to sign, I wondered, like the woman behind the banana man, what to say. My daughter stepped up on the platform so she could see Tony as he signed first one book, then the other. He looked up at her and a softness came over his face.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he said, his voice low and gentle, and I watched her smile, just a little, as he spoke to her.
“Your hair is gone,” I blurted.
He noticed me beside my daughter. He didn’t smile.
“I lost a lot of hair this week. First my back, then I got my hair cut the other day,” he looked right at me, but before I could respond, he was holding the banana man’s helmet and looking down to sign it.
My daughter and I walked away as Home Depot employees thanked us for coming. I wanted to kick myself.
“You didn’t pass out, though,” my daughter reassured me.
She was right, and with so many fans and so many autographs, I was hopeful he would forget the one who made the stupid hair comment. I paused for a moment as we drove down the street towards the highway that would lead us home, noticing a Krispy Kreme sign and wondering if a dozen doughnuts would make up for my stupidity. Next time, I thought, as I watched my daughter in the rear view mirror as she rolled up in a blanket and lay down on the backseat. I’ll bring him doughnuts next time.

Tony Stewart, Two Time NASCAR Cup Series Champion