Vampyres of Hollywood

The actress Adrienne Barbeau, probably best known for the ‘70s tv series Maude and more recently the HBO series Carnivale, teams up with prolific author Michael Scott (his YA novel The Alchemyst is being made into a movie) to write her second novel, Vampyres of Hollywood: a modern tale of vampires, murder, and the movie-making business.


This novel differs from other tales of that bloodsucking creature of the night in that it claims that Hollywood was essentially created by vampires. After all, it provides the perfect environment for them. It allows them to satisfy their narcissism and it gives them a means to perpetuate all of those fallacies and even create some new ones, like having no reflections, in order to keep the true nature of their existence from being discovered.

Vampyres of Hollywood opens with a murder, and the subsequent chapters alternate between the first person point of views of Osvanna Moore, legendary horror film actress and studio head, and Peter King, the detective with movie-star good looks and a penchant for nice clothes (he is, after all, working the Beverly Hills beat.) But one murder quickly becomes several murders, and all of the victims are somehow linked to Osvanna.


From Osvanna’s point of view, we are given glimpses into her long and rich past from her relationship as body guard, friend and occasional lover to Catherine the Great to that of muse to Van Gogh. We learn that many great historical events and persons were somehow related to vampirism like Jack the Ripper and the fall of Pompeii. Barbeau and Scott manage to make it all seem plausible, and it works mostly because the novel doesn’t strive to take itself too seriously.


Through Detective King’s investigations, we are introduced to more than a few interesting characters. His tenant, SuzieQ (that’s her real name, it says so on her driver’s license) is an exotic dancer, snake wrangler, and sounding board for the detective, often offering insightful comments and useful insider information (Hollywood is a small town, you know.) Since the suspect in this case has been dubbed The Cinema Slayer, we are introduced to his mom, who knows the movie industry inside and out. She once had aspirations of being an A-List actress, but was always relegated to roles such as “girl in the bar”, “woman in the bar, and “woman behind bars.” Eventually, her penchant for saving movie set mementos and collecting signed film scripts paid off when eBay provided the perfect venue for selling those mementos. Then there’s John Trueblood who stands at 6’8” and goes by the nickname Little John. He’s an ex-convict and ex-professional wrestler, tattoo artist and parlor owner, and avid collector of movie memorabilia (he‘s one of Mrs. King’s best customers.) These folks may be secondary characters, but they add interest and color to the story in addition to helping move King’s case forward.


Minor inconsistencies (vampires don’t feel the cold, but in one scene Osvanna feels “Brittle cold but no pain.”; it’s pointed out that vampires can be seen in mirrors because of the laws of physics yet no mention is made of those same laws when they change into animal forms) and a tendency to state the obvious do little to detract from the fact that this is a briskly paced and entertaining story that doesn’t pause long enough to give the reader time to worry too much about these minor criticisms. There are plenty of references to the Hollywood of yesteryear as well as currently running shows to appease most movie and television buffs. There are scenes of gore and a grand finale of flesh-eating to give horror fans something to wince about. In the end, Vampyres of Hollywood provides a fitting metaphor for Hollywood’s movie industry as well as a vampy, campy fun read.


Since I don't have the option of rating this book something between a 6 and 7, I gave it a 7.


(This review refers to the Advance Uncorrected Proof.)