To call myself a fan of the Transformers would be given too much weight to the term ‘fan’. Born in the late’70’s and a child of the 80’s, I, like many, was a Hasbro kid, which means I was a kid who was still young enough to make the transition from being a Kenner Kid who graduated to Yo Joe! and Roll Out!. The availability of variety, via the net of media actually reduces saturation, or rather concentration that a child can be exposed to. Consider this, as child of that era played with his Tranformers toy, went inside and watched the cartoon, and then opened up the Marvel comic and many did the same with G.I. Joe; indeed none of my peers that I can remember were not aware of the Transformers as it was a much less specialized market which is why I am still amazed at when looking back that the quality of G1 Transformers cartoon still holds up amazingly well and unlike its Joe counterpart, the Transformers cartoon was actually superior to the comic, so there is some legacy involved.

Let me admit that outside of accidentally watching some episodes of Beast Wars - a couple of which were rather clever, but overall was a tarnish I could have done without - my viewing history of Transformers doesn’t go much beyond the animated film which I still have memories of being so damn cool, as picture this: with everything on the line, Optimus doesn’t bring an army with him to turn the tide of a battle on earth: he brought the Dinobots! That aside, what we are talking about here is Transformers Cybertron: The Ultimate Collection DVD set, and I think my viewing experience will proves to be something that could parallel many others my age in regards to personal viewing pleasure and that of a parent looking at something for a child of today.

First, this - for a new viewer- essentially is a reboot or retelling of the story of the Transformers and one can buy and view this collection and know nothing that has occurred prior to, or perhaps - which most likely is the case - have only the movie (live-action) as a reference and looking for a hybrid/adaptation cartoon for the kids to enjoy. There are the familiar figures of characters like Optimus Prime and Megatron, as well as Starscream who seem for the most part very familiar in demeanor surrounded by facsimiles of previous characters and a dose of new characters as we explore different worlds. The basic gist is that the Transformer’s home planet of Cyberton is in danger of being destroyed by a Black Hole effect that was created with the destruction of Unicron which causes the Transformers to take refuge on Earth and to take up the guises of earth-vehicles (sort of ) to blend in as they look for a way to save their home, which is presented by an ancient Transformer, Vector Prime, who tells them of the need to find the lost Cyber Planet Keys, items or rather artifacts, of ancient power that were part of a past Space Bridge project of their ancestors that if found could stop the aforementioned Black Hole. The show is essentially different quests, be it on earth, or other planets to find these keys by both the Decepticons and Autobots preserving the continuous theme in Transformers that while enemies they are both fighting for, and in fact love their home, a dynamic that always made the Decepticons and particularly Megatron just a bit different from many animated villains, a facet highlighted by instances of team-ups between Prime and Megatron in different adaptations against common causes (the Insecticons come to mind).

As a fan of Generation 1 Transformers, when you start watching this set it is hard not to feel disconcerted , and admittedly you enter the experience ready to condemn and call the effort blasphemous, and getting through the first few episodes was a chore mostly because of the choice of having the Transformers themselves done in CGI while everything else is standard animation and simply getting your head wrapped around that this is no longer your Transformers. What helps this set is the sheer amount of material; there are a lot of episodes and thus Transformers Cybertron starts, albeit it slowly, creating its own space. This is four seasons of material, fifty-plus episodes, and the farther I got along, the more and more I felt myself allowing the series…truthfully I want to say exist but more appropriately to legitimately hold my attention. The use of CGI starts to morph from oddity tom something you convince yourself actually highlights the intrusion or contrast of the presence of giant alien robots in the setting we are familiar with, and you actually start wondering where it’s all going knowing that there is such a body of material ahead of you. To (partially) offset a monotony to the adventures, you do explore plenty of environments, be it different locales on earth: deserts, Atlantis, etc as well as different worlds in search for the cyber keys, from places dubbed Speed World and Jungle Planet and more than a healthy dose of naming that deal with greek mythology from Hyperborea (which also means something to SF/F heads) , Ogygia, and even a Stranger in a Strange Land reference.

The presence of three human children (Lori, Bud, and Coby) who aid the Autobots add the element of connectivity and to kids and simulated interaction, as they aptly play the role of the human contact. Their role is sometimes forced, and often begs the questions of how they explain their presence in these events around regular life (because they are young kids), but serves a role and to the shows credit you see an attempt to every now and then offer a glimpse of their families to attempt to answer these questions on some level and to act as an offering to wondering adults. They also serve as the ‘and now you know” element in the show which is rather heavy-handed throughout for me, but I would view as a plus to me in the presence of young kids that we already hadn’t lost to pseudo-angst, thought it is not exclusive to them as the Autobots frequently take moments to point out a moral. If anything truly could be labeled as a continued annoyance, it is the tendency for every time a weapon is used ,the Autobot of Decepticon has to announce it and its name, usually after Transforming (which also tends to be announced) and certainly worst of all, the use of the cyber keys to ‘power-up’ Transformers that always force us to watch (several times an episodes) a Transformer essentially calling upon the power of Greyskull, all of which are cut scenes that amount to take any fluidity away from the what would otherwise would and should be the coolest parts of an episode. It kind of goes against the lesson of Macross, that while could be accused of being overly dramatic at times (what I would call awesome) when it’s time to battle you got to let loose and let it be fluid - in this regard Transformer Cybertron gets in its own way and actually instances of action turn out to be great times to leave the room to refill a drink. There are odd allowances one has to get over that have to be overlooked for even kids to enjoy the series, and that is that Optimus Prime, who in all incarnations is supposed to be the greatest of leaders of a technologically advanced race of beings comes off as tactful and intelligent as an average child and thus what you have is a show that continually battles itself as it has a story to tell but can never maximize that story by having to be i aware that six year olds are watching it, and what you don’t want is a show that is so caught in the middle that you have young children asking how is Optimus not noticeably more knowledgeable than the human kids in the show (not to mention themselves) - and I realize this is supposed to be empowering and to cement a place for the kids in the show who act like avatars for kids watching, but the presence of humans featured in just about all forms of Transformers have always in my view been a detraction excluding maybe Spike, who just because of age allowed for much of what occurs with trio in this series to be more of a non-factor. With further thought, however, you realize this is not so much different from previous shows as the Autobots have always been just ‘dumb enough’ to not in fact be evil, and the Decepticon, for all the examples that show Megatron as being a badass always are just quick enough to call a retreat to not win.

Among the amount of sizeable product mentioned in this set you will find no special features. A fan of such extras in specific movies, I’m not at all sure what could have been included that could have proven interesting to me, which may indeed be the fault in itself.

The obvious violence that would be implied between combative factions of warring giant robots aside, Transformers Cybertron turns out to be collection that I can’t deny would be an awfully nice little show for very young children, that eventually becomes more than bearable to parents - though completely unwatchable by unsheltered teens - having to watch to with them and at a nice price point as this is a rather immense volume of work that represents - I think - real value in terms of hours-per-dollar. This is billed as a loose sequel to previous shows, Transformers Armada and Transformers Energon but if I hadn’t read that elsewhere, I would have never known, as this DVD set functions extremely well on its own and as noted earlier, is for all intents and purposes is its own mythos. One that I can appreciate equally for existing as being separate from the true Golden Age of both Autobots and Decepticons, represented by my Transformers - where Walther p38’s and microcassette players are still cool.


Jay Tomio
The Bodhisattva

Susan Michael has gone from mainstream news reporter to a sleaze magazine that prints outlandish pictures and even weirder stories. Her life is simple and bit a lonely. Her best friends, Angie and Jimmy, bring her to the local animal shelter to share a deep dark secret. Susan is able to speak to Jimmy for a few moments and then she ends up leaving the shelter with a cat. Of all the animals she could have brought home- she's allergic to cats. Events occur in the next few hours that Susan never thought possible. Her stray cat is really a adonis with six-pack abs and a devilish grin. Things that go bump in the night really do exist. And her life will never be the same. She's left with no friends, family, or hope for the future. The future where she thought she was headed. Now she must live with Ravyn and his world as a squire.

Ravyn Kontis is a Were-hunter who becomes attached to no one. The fact that a mere human saves him from death is both ironic and a lifesaver. He soon finds out that this human is different than most. She brings up feelings he thought were long dead and gone. Because of her he must face many things he thought were over and done with. Because of her he will regain the power to live.

Sherrilyn Kenyon knows how to create other worlds and her character development is amazing. Readers will want to travel through destinations unknown with Susan and Ravyn. They will want a happy ending and they won't be disappointed. How they get there is quite the adventure and it is highly recommended that you stay along for the ride. Readers will find themselves searching eagerly for the other titles in this series. The latest in the series has just been released.

This isn't usually my genre of books but I was totally enthralled with this book. I've already researched and found that this should not have been the first book read but I wouldn't change a thing. I was lucky enough to win an autographed copy at a recent GRWA meeting and now I'm hooked. Kudos to you Ms. Kenyon for showing me the way...to the dark hunter series.

Psychological Methods To Sell Should Be Destroyed: Stories by Robert Freeman Wexler is not a book, it's a chapbook. I'm not particularly fond of chapbooks, but this is a method of selling short stories that has been embraced by various small press units, contests and others as a way to circulate stories that otherwise might go unnoticed.

This particular chapbook is offered by Electric Velocipede (Spilt Milk Press publishing company). They did a nice job in selecting paper—it's thick, hefty stuff, with a good stapling job so you don't have to worry about the pages falling out. The print of the stories is sharp. The titles and subtitles are a weird font and look as though the laser is running out of ink. Because they are all this way (including the cover page) I am assuming it is a characteristic of the font itself, and not a cheap printing job. I still don't like it, but I think it was done that way on purpose, for effect.

Now then, on to the introduction. The introduction is done by Zoran Zivkovi. He does a nice job of letting the reader know that the work is...experimental without calling it that, but he does rag on the status quo of big company publishing. I think perhaps his words would have been better spent telling me why I should want to read Robert Wexler's stories—other than the fact that a big company would never have published them. If nothing else, his rant is passionate. Luckily the end matter of the chapbook shows that most of these stories were already published in other venues before making their way into this chapbook so there is a sense that these stories are indeed, quality. The back matter also let me know there was at least one original story.

On to the stories...or general thoughts thereof. These are rather experimental works in that they don't follow a standard story with discernible plots. The stories are somewhat poetic—the language flows well, the descriptions are good without being stifling. The point, for me, was often lost inside the great literary points that were being made. It was often difficult to tell whether the story teller was in a dream state or a waking one; The Tales of the Golden Legend, for example, was told partly from the viewpoint of a loaf of bread. When the bread wasn't the main teller, a man who understood the words of bread was center stage. An interesting concept to be sure.

Valley of the Falling Clouds is a bit of a romance, but more of a journey of finding a place and returning to it and being able to find it. Suspension, on the other hand, appears to be a tale of a fat man watching life go by, enjoying snippets of it, but mostly not wanting to participate.

As you might guess, the stories are fraught with many meanings, most of which probably depend upon your own life experiences and viewpoints. Suspension was first published in Lady Churchill's Rosebud—I can see the other stories fitting in there too. Much of the work reminds me of looking at a painting and imagining the lives of the people you see there. Because a painting doesn't move, you have to give special attention to each flower—it has to take on meaning, become a symbol, the very color has to represent something. The works in this chapbook are literary in that the life of an ordinary man is examined and the weirdness and possible color within is shown. The stories are somewhat Poe-like; dream-state without being horror.

All in all, these are not my type of story. Call me a traditionalist, call me boring, but I prefer stories to have a plot, and I have no desire to wade through the ordinary man's life. Luckily there is room for both—and the writing is good, such that if you like speculative literary works, these stories might be for you.

Stalking the Vampire, the second in the “A Fable of Tonight” by Mike Resnick is much like the first book, Stalking the Unicorn. In fact, it is so similar I wondered at times if the two were really written fifteen or twenty years apart! The series is pulp hardboiled/fantasy/urban fantasy. After I read Stalking the Unicorn—the first in the series--I was interested to see how the writer's style might have changed over the years, but Resnick stuck very closely to the original style. In fact, if I had a complaint, it would be that he stuck much too closely—the characters, if anything, didn't evolve enough to be at all surprising.

The star detective, John Mallory of an alternate Manhattan, is out to solve another case. While Mallory couldn't be stuck with his previous incompetent “help” because of events in the last book, Resnick saddled Mallory with new “help” which was just as incompetent and annoying as in the first book. Frankly, the side-kick character seems to be there merely to facilitate bad puns, and he was too reminiscent of the first book: cowardly, untrustworthy and providing little or no information to move the plot along. I had hoped that Mallory would involve his partner, Winnifred—a rather interesting character. Instead, like the first book, she was shuffled off into the background with various meetings set where the two characters could meet and compare notes. I did enjoy the reunion with characters such as the evil Grundy—he was different enough from the first novel that I didn't know what to expect. Or perhaps there was just more to explore about Grundy so whatever he did was unexpected. The dialogue between Mallory and Grundy was always fun.

This book seemed slower paced than the first, but I think part of that was because the styles were so similar, I could see what was coming—the detective wandered around Manhattan, sorting through clues with a cowardly vampire in search of a killer vampire. The character actions became repetitious in spots, especially concerning Farina, the cat girl. Negotiations between Mallory and the cat-girl were very consistent, but not necessarily enjoyable—much like listening to two children squabbling in the back seat during an endless car ride.

While individual scenes described were unique and interesting, I wanted more from this second book—a faster pace, a few less puns and more dynamic characters that did more unexpected things. It was nice to see old friends, but world-building has never been my favorite even if it is a unique world.

I did enjoy Resnick's stabs at the writing industry and various genres (one of the incompetent “helpful” characters just so happened to be a pulp fiction writer with low sales. He decided to follow Mallory, a “real” PI, to get material for his books.) The poking fun was a bit like the lawyer and politician jokes, which fit in well with the theme of the book. I especially liked a few of the good-natured complaints/descriptions about romances/vampires and urban fantasy in general. There were many veiled references to tropes, literary styles and names; a well-read person could enjoy an intellectual journey trying to figure out all the references and “inside” jokes. In some ways this book reminded me of Donna Moore's “Go to Helena Handbasket.”

The book is written with a witty style that it is easy to drift through; it's a quick read, something for an afternoon on the couch with some popcorn and soda.

When I received a copy of Polly Frost’s book, Deep Inside, in the mail, there was no note attached. The name and address on the package were unfamiliar to me. So I assumed that I had been randomly sent a book for review by the author or publisher to get the word out, so I was about to place it on the ‘perhaps when I get time’ pile. However, when I saw that the book was a collection of erotic short stories, I then thought ‘Hmm, this might be fun! I’ll take a look-see later this evening.’ By this you might gather that I was intrigued by the idea of a collection of erotic stories. I’ve read many of them online, some are good, some are ok, some are bad but quite a few are really good and I’ve since become a fan of Violet Blue who is now a regular at the San Francisco Chronicle. So I was intrigued enough to place it next in the rotation and open it up that very evening.

The first story was ok. It was a little hokey, a little judgmental, and a little silly – but basically not too bad. It didn’t rock my world but it didn’t bore me either.

The second story was a complete let down. I was so annoyed by the poor wording, vulgarity and bad grammar that I didn’t get past the first several paragraphs.

I then moved on to story number three, hoping that the last one was an anomaly. Nope. Story number three was just as annoying as the second. I thus moved my way through the book, trying to get past the first few paragraphs of each consecutive story. I never succeeded; I reached the end of the book without finishing another story. As I put the book down, I was trying to decide if finding these stories to be vulgar rather than erotic was a failing in me. Was I a prude? I had never thought so. But I thought about it some more, just to be sure – nobody wants to be considered a prude. What was it that was making these stories about as erotic as stepping in dog doo first thing in the morning? After glancing again at some of the tales, I realized that there were several common factors in each (at least in the first few paragraphs in each), and that they reminded me of the glut of reality shows on TV, which made them just tasteless and uninteresting.

What they had in common was this; they were poorly written, with grammar errors and clumsy wording that did not flow as it should, they too quickly attempted to shock the reader with overdone situations, and they used too many words in places the author should have been sparking the reader’s imagination, not leading them by the nose. In this last characteristic, it is quite possible that my opinion differs from that of mainstream eroticism readers. Perhaps with the proliferation of pornography on TV and the internet, the bulk of the audience for a book such as this have become inured to subtlety and need a push start rather than just a turn of a key to bring their imagination engines to life. Even if that is the case, I would still have to say that the stories that make up this collection need to be passed under the eye of at least one editor who isn’t afraid to rework a manuscript until it resembles something that they are proud of. I was terribly disappointed in this book and it actively annoyed me because it looked good on the outside and made me feel as if it had promise. Thus being deceived, I give it a 0 rating.

There were high hopes, hell people were looking to take a ride back to their childhood (tweenhood?) where we could see one of our favorite fantasy books come to life on the screen. My first thought was, this would have been real cool as a live action movie, but I sure do love cartoons as well, so no hopes were dashed…yet.

The Good, the Bad, and the ugly CGI.

There really was a lot of good in this movie. I have heard of lot of comments based on the trailers and how people did not like the animation, but I thought the animation was real good. Yes it has a nostalgia feel to it (ala the Hobbit), but isn’t that the audience it is intended for? Regardless of the intended audience, the animated versions of some of my favorite characters are all well done and I enjoyed watching them.

The voice acting was also top notch with Michael Rosenbaum as Tanis, Kiefer Sutherland as Raistlin, Lucy Lawless as Goldmoon, and star filled for the rest of the cast as well. The only iffy one was Jason Marsden as Tasslehoff, not that Jason was a bad voice actor, its just his voice just did not work for me as Tasslehoff.

Another positive was the fact that the script kept true to the storyline. For the die hard fans this is very important and I feel that in many movies things that a fan would find integral to the story are often left out or glossed over. Now, they can not put everything from a few hundred page book into less then two hours, but they did a damn good job.

Then...

There was a decision to make the dragons and draconians CGI (Computer Generated), and this is where the problems begin. To sum it up, they just do not fit in with the animated work. It is like you are watching two different movies that fell on the cutting floor one on top of the other. The other issue is during the battle scenes the CGI and animated characters interaction is “off”. Animation gets lost behind CGI, swords plunge through CGI characters from further away then they should. A scene that describes it all is when we see what are supposed to be monks on the road by Solace, well the monk robes are CGI, so guess what is under them? A spoiled moment for the audience. Reading some interviews, it seemed that Weis and Hickman thought the 3D would make it more exciting...no...it did not.

Another overall issue I had with the transition from the word to the animated were the little enjoyable nuances of the characters that gave them personality in the book. They are overdone in the movie, ruining that aspect of the characters. A few particulars that I will point out are Raistlin’s coughing from his time at the tower, the way Caramon reacts to Tika when they come back to Solace, and Flint being afraid of the water during the escape. These are all very subtle in the book and in the movie are taken to the extreme and therefore look rather silly. I also thought the violence was a tad bit overdone (people hanging from trees during Solace attack), but maybe I am just nit picking now.

Overall, cut out the CGI, tone down the quirks and we have a great animated movie. Problem is I do not see this happening for the next part of this classic saga turned animated movie. It is like the pearl still stuck in the oyster, pretty surrounded by ugly. Fans of the series would be better served by the Graphic Novels that Devil's Due put out, and people unfamiliar should read the books, they are classics.

Gemma Halliday is a master writer for a romance series. Undercover in High Heels is the first I've read in this series so I'll be backing up to the beginning quite soon. Maddie is a fun character who not only wants hot, sleepless nights with her detective Ramirez, but a little mystery would be nice too. She finds exactly what she wants when actors start dying on the set of Magnolia Lane, her favorite soap opera.

Maddie's gotten in trouble before for butting into cases better solved by the police. Her and her best friend, Dana, scheme up a complex way of helping Ramirez solve his case. Who could help more than two faithful fans? Her interactions into the situation not only infuriate her boyfriend but put her in danger as well.

Before she knows what's happening Maddie has stumbled onto a tabloid reporter, a website madame, and a very surprising client. She just knows she can solve the case by delving into the personal lives of all of these people. What she finds is shocking, not only to her and the police, but to the entire set of Magnolia Lane.

Ms. Halliday has created such witty and humorous characters here. I love the interactions between Maddie and Detective Ramirez. He is a hot hero who is dating a misfit. She can't keep herself out of tricky situations- and he always find out about them. Readers who love romance, mystery, and a bit of humor will fall in love with Undercover in High Heels. Like me you will find yourself scrambling to find the whole series of Ms. Halliday's 'High Heels' books.

Kissa Starling

Reincarnationist by M.J. Rose, though billed as a thriller, is more of an unrequited love story. There’s a lot of ancient Roman history, detailed descriptions of Rome and like Da Vinci Code, hints of impropriety in church history. Of course, since the story is also modern day, and murders are occurring, there’s the possibility that the church is still trying to cover up some misdeed or some piece of history that might lean away from its teachings—such as reincarnation.

While reading, there are tons of unanswered questions, but it was hard to put my finger on the actual plot. Is this a mystery? Well, kind of, but not exactly. Yes, there were mysterious memory stones that everyone wanted to get their hands on. It was never entirely clear why it was absolutely necessary to obtain these stones. They mimicked the holy grail of Da Vinci Code, but the legend of the holy grail is quite well-known. The gems in the story are thought to have mysterious powers, possibly enabling a person to link with a past life. Of course, several of the characters seemed to be linking just fine to past lives without the stones, so I assumed they would be most coveted by those that either didn’t have past lives and wanted to experience the connection or by people that couldn’t connect with a past life they thought they had. There was the thought that the stones would prove once and for all that reincarnation was real, but since most of the characters were either experiencing it or believed in it already, it wasn’t at all clear how finding the stones would change their lives.

The history of these gems is doled out slowly as Josh, one of the main protags, relives a past life through flashbacks. He experiences these flashbacks quite often, usually when he comes into contact with a place in Rome where his past life (Julius) existed. It is, after all, a book about reincarnation. I enjoyed the clever description of those who had been reincarnated as seen through the camera by Josh, (his alternate character is Julius, a priest from the past). That concept was interesting as were some of the other “what if” moments. Josh wasn’t a particularly likable fellow; he could be rather tiresome when he argued with himself over whether what he was experiencing was real. Naturally, this same doubt was displayed by other characters experiencing flashes from the past.

As anyone who reads my reviews know, I’m not big on multiple POVs and this book has plenty. The author kept them short so that as a reader I wasn’t pulled too long from the ongoing story, but there were a number of POVs that could have been dropped without injuring the story in the least. There are multiple story lives going on during the various POV shifts; the reader has to assume that ties to the main plot will be revealed in the end. It’s a storytelling technique many people enjoy. You actually have three or four stories being told in the guise of one novel.

M.J. Rose ends many a chapter on a cliffhanger—pushing the reader forward to find out what happens next. She moves the plot along, pausing most often for history or for a romantic moment—when hands touch that have touched in past lives, there can be an instant “fire” followed up with detailed results.

The ending of the book is where the tension ratchets up—the last few chapters were a breeze to get through. I was pleased to find that my early guess about the main villain was correct (guessing ahead of time bothers some people, but the clues fell into logical place and any other ending wouldn’t have made much sense). If I were to change one thing, I would have liked to see the master thief/culprit punished on stage. Or killed in some ironic twist so that there was a sense of justice served, but it is a fate book. The ending leaves a sense of time spooling out in an endless pattern, with each of us needing only courage and morals to edge it in the right direction—this time.

For anyone that believes in reincarnation, or is interested in the subject, this book presents some interesting ideas. It also serves quite well as historical fiction. For anyone that believes love is timeless and endless, it has the romantic element of a promise finally kept. The book is a bit experimental; the mystery elements are not handled traditionally; same for some of the romantic elements.

I haven’t read any other M.J. Rose novels, but I do enjoy her PR articles. She has done a lot to help other writers and is tireless in studying marketing concepts and pushing the edge when it comes to marketing novels. Her blog is full of interesting information, and I’d encourage any budding writer to have a look. From reading this historical novel, I’d say she researches her novel topics as thoroughly as she does her research into successful PR.

Usually, in a review, I mention what I liked about a book. I certainly think that's only fair to the writer and to those who would read this review. There isn't anything good that I can say about this one.

This author writes as though he opened up a thesaurus and started choosing the biggest words that he possibly could. There is no consideration given to the connotation of any of the words and the overall effect is the reading equivalent of walking past a perfume counter on Sample Day. It's both horrifying and overwhelming. I wish that I could simply say it's a matter of this not being my sort of book, however, I've read cyberpunk, nonfiction, mainstream fiction, slipstream fiction, horror, graphic novels, classic literature, splatterpunk, and "People" magazine-which all make the fact that I could not get into this book all the more surprising. I was trying to ignore a televised football game by reading and this book was so terrible, I couldn't even do that.

It's a jumbled mess of vignettes that might make a plot farther into the book, but at 100 pages, I had had enough and simply had to give up the idea ofslogging through it. Even worse, while the science fiction and fantasy traditions have a long and sometimes celebrated tendency to unhinge the English language into new and interesting words (some of which later get inducted into mainstream language), often by splicing elements of other languages together, there is a point where a work becomes impenetrable. This book is complete with a 27 page glossary at the end which a reader must reference almost endlessly and therefore disrupt the flow of the book. I've read "A Clockwork Orange" by Anthony Burgess, and I agree with his view that it didn't need a glossary for the Nadsat lingo he created because he wrote so skillfully that readers could use context clues to figure out the meanings. Shaun Von Dragen doesn't write well enough to pull off the amount of slang he so casually tosses around the pages.

Then, there's the uncredited use of two words that I immediately recognized from Mr. Burgess's novel, "glazzies" and "guttiwuts." I don't believe that they ought to be used without giving credit to the Nadsat language that Anthony Burgess created.

There are spelling errors and horribly mangled words that could have come from the George W. Bush Vocabulary Institute. There's no need to make up cumbersome words to express something that's already got a word to describe it. In addtion, when referring to pop culture, it might be a good idea to define all of the artists mentioned in a particular paragraph. Many people, I'm certain, are quite familiar with Paul Gauguin, yet that definition is included, while a similar reference is not available for H.R. Giger. Finally, when using a credited word from a movie as popular as "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" or a book as popular as "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", one should do one's best to make sure that they're actually using a word from that source. The word you were probably looking for was "scrumdilyumptious" not "scrumdilyicious."

This book is rife with these problems. I can't even in good conscience pass this book on to someone else because I couldn't bear the thought of inflicting it on them. Neil Gaiman gave some great advice in his webjournal about reading more than you write. I have trouble believing that Mr. Von Dragen does, because there's certainly no feeling for the reader that the author has a great love of and relationship with words. In Mr. Von Dragen's case, I believe that I would recommend he start his reading with those time-honored and wonderfully informative books by Strunk and White, "The Elements of Style" and "The Elements of Grammar."

I never thought I’d say this but G.I.JOE is back – and not just in the musings of the twentyish eyeing thirty; a mid-life guilty pleasure masked as fashionably retro. The truth is that this comic – a continuation from a line that raised young men of my generation – has been a valued part of my pull list issue#18, when suddenly a legitimately uneventful title of hudlin-like proportions recaptured hamaesque magic.

Issue twenty-three of G.I.JOE: America’s Elite, the third in a four part arc titled Sins of the Mother begins as all comics should: With some quality bondage. A downright Diana princely splash of one Anastasia – better known to casuals as the Baroness – sets the tone of the issue and recent run. It’s a trimmer team but a broader playing field; still an elite anti-terrorist unit, the same world, but with the added dimensions that comes with the world for the reader a generation removed from knowing is half the battle. The Baroness, a new mother, had been captured and fruitlessly interrogated by G.I.JOE before breaking out during a government sanction assault on the JOE compound by Cobra agents and since has been on a warpath that includes (apparently) previously killing Wraith, a newish, much over hyped, poor-man’s Boba Fett of the Joeverse – someone who truly had no point but just showed up with a fan club because of a cool costume. Yes – people die in today’s Joeverse.

In the Middle East a Joe force including, Snake Eyes, Scarlet, Spirit, Roadblock, Stalker, and led by Duke pursue Major Blood on the trail of the Baroness, a path that will eventually lead to yet more bondage and to Destro’s seat.

Remember Lady Jaye? Well forget about her because she’s dead – that’s the advice Flint needs. In Vietnam, Flint is spying on the Red Shadows when he finds himself observing a meeting with the Baroness. It would not be an overstatement to say that Flint is becoming one of the most interesting characters on my pull list – the death of his wife makes his journey to the long time fan a dynamic one. My most recent Cup of Joe notes the debut of Flint in the Marvel series, a brash, arrogant, but competent new addition to the team and to see the transition of a solider who lost his soul, to a melancholic, brooding warrior displays to me that interests based in nostalgia can evolve and do so without blasphemous results.

The new look, the art to the series is at first unnerving, I found myself naturally rejecting it until I started viewing it as a departure in the way to view G.I.JOE. The art style is more mundane, when grouped together the JOE’s look like a military unit, no longer a poster or image on a toy box. Snake Eyes looks like a commando, not a power ranger in the trenches. This is not a knock on the iconic appearances of these characters – the version II Snake Eyes figure is classic – it is however an art choice that works for the reader of today, including those from yesterday.

All the threads have a sense of immediacy to them, an urgent tension underneath the panel. The woman scorned and the hollowed widower offer a feeling of ever present calamity with the perpetual threat of, in the middle of a comic that successfully takes the elements that makes for worthwhile high adrenaline action/drama experience and wraps it into embarrassingly gushing moments by tugging the fan boy strings by offering a mere glimpse of the Phantom with Ghost Rider ready to take our favorite Native American tracker and ass kicking, masked commando in a thread that took me back to reading a Hama Special Mission within the comic itself. Each story has players on the edge, hinging on decisions that retain a true unpredictability that comes with showing in earlier issues that there will be casualties, there is loss, and with that what remains behind grows.

I dare say G.I.JOE is cool again. It’s unfortunate it was ever otherwise.

Jay Tomio
The Bodhisattva

No Offense Intended by Barbara Seranella is the second book in the Munch Mancini series and it’s every bit as good as the first. Munch, an ex-druggie, is still battling demons. Now that she’s been sober a while, she finds out how boring and empty life is when all you do is go to work and come home to an empty apartment. Munch is like your kid sister; you want to give her advice, but you know she isn’t going to heed it. She’s got a reckless, stubborn streak that she doesn’t always control.

In No Offense Intended, Munch has to decide whether she can really turn away from her old life—this includes turning away from those she used to call friends and facing the fact that if she mingles with them, she’s going to end up back on drugs. When an old boyfriend ends up dead, she’s truly caught in the web of her past—she’d like to save his baby from growing up in a drug infested neighborhood, but every time she goes back there, well, there’s a lot of temptation.

While trying to save the baby, Munch comes across a few reasons that her ex-boyfriend might have been killed. When she lands back in jail, her incentive to help the police catch the killers grows. Munch faces danger, but she’s used to that. In this book, she has to face her emotions—stone cold sober. It’s a new experience for her. Seranella does a magnificent job of balancing the emotional issues while allowing Munch to solve the mystery. The author also allows the characters to grow without changing their basic personalities.

Once again, this is a walk on the edge of the dark side with characters you can care about.

Surprisingly, there are not too many things in this world that make me want to tear my eyes out with rusty silverware and sauté them in lava. A room full of crying babies, yes. Harry Potter fanfic, double yes. Toll booth lights never changing after tossing in your change, triple yes. But Eragon, the movie, the terrible and horrible and incredibly bad flick about a boy, his dragon, and the love they share for wretched dialogue, takes the molten cake.

Based off of the novel of the same name by home-schooled Christopher Paolini, Eragon is about a boy of the title's namesake (Edward Speelers) who stumbles upon a magical egg sent to him out of desperation by the elf warrior Arya (Sienna Guillory). This egg is being hunted by the shade Durza (Robert Carlyle) who is ordered to retrieve it by the nefarious King Galbatorix (John Malcovich) as it contains what could very well be the last dragon of the realm. And, duh, only old men should be allowed to have dragons. Eragon brings home the egg only to discover it hatching soon after. Sadly, no scrambled breakfast inside. Just a wee blue lizard-thingy, which the idiot boy thinks is a bird at first. When Saphira (voiced by Rachel Weisz) marks Eragon as her rider, the dragon's existence is made known to those that can sense these things. The pursuit is on, and Eragon is thrown into an adventure to save a rebel army from the soldiers of the king who are bent on making all suffer needlessly.

Where to begin? It's clear the film is trying to be something more than just a fantasy film, but it fails on so many different levels that it's even clearer that the film blows dragon holes. The acting is stiffly overdone. The music is cheesy and so cliché that when the evil castle looms in the background the viewers get treated to deep drums and heavy string progressions. But when dragons fly or our hero wields his sword or beautiful people smile? It's like a Dance Dance Revolution remix or something. All that was missing was the tiny anime emoticons that pop up next to everybody. There's plenty of problem with the pacing of the film and overall, there just isn't much to hold onto during the journey. Luckily, it's not epic in the sense of the movie's length.

Having read both books in the series so far, I noticed far too many changes in the movie screenplay which really give off the sense that this film is a one-hit flick, created only to steal cash from fanboys and fangirls, and that there is truly no love or adoration for the subject material. How can there be when in Eragon the writers kill off two characters that play a predominantly important role in the second book? SPOILER ALERT. When Eragon wakes up at the end of the movie to find Murtagh in his room, he seems confused. And rightly he should. That damn pretty boy was supposed to have snuck off with the Urgals and the Twins (who were missing from the film) so that he can do some sneaky surprise stuff in Eldest. But I guess the writers/directors/monkeys thought it'd be good to play a little mean joke on Eragon and tell him his dragon was dead. Hah! Just kidding! Got your nose!

It's very easy to make a joke about the dialogue of the movie being written by a four-year-old when the fact remains that the novel itself was written by a seventeen-year-old (or was it sixteen? Twelve? Nine?). Some lines just sound ridiculous, like King Galbatorix saying "I suffer without my stone." Are we talking about kidney stones here? I think men suffer more with them. Other lines are quite comical: "You look fit for battle." and "I have skills." produced some chuckles. Also, as I've never really ridden a dragon before, I'm not too sure how easy it is to have a conversation without someone galloping on a horse on the ground. I guess using recess-level voices does the job, but I could be wrong.

Poor, poor Edward Speelers. As this is his first feature film/acting gig, it might also very well be his last. Apparantly, after a worldwide scour for the perfect actor and after almost leaving the movie behind after no such boy seemed alive, the casting crew went with this head on a stick. It's not that he can't act (he can't), it's just that he seemed so uncomfortable in his role. Is the script to blame for this? Partially. But I'm going to blame him too. Brom (Jeremy Irons) and Angela (Joss Stone) were the only interesting characters, but their screen time was short-lived. The actor portraying Durza seemed to be enjoying his role, but the motivations behind his actions just weren't there. He made a better villain than ol' King Baldy who, apparently, keeps a dragon behind his tablecloth map (magically, the dragon never makes a noise!).

The movie cost me $9.00. Don't waste the money. The book? It's around $12.00 or so in trade paperback. Don't buy that either. Instead, treat yourself to a nice lunch and consider your money and time well-spent, which is far better than what I did with mine. Now I know who Eragon and Brom were talking about in the film when they kept saying, "One part brave, three parts fool."

Us, the moviegoers.

Review of the Rage

Well Well Well, here is the first real review on Fantasybookspot. I guess this paragraph has to have all the, great to get started, something we have always wanted to do, etc.. crap out of the way first. Yes we are doing real reviews, not ones where we have to watch what we say or anything like that, so let's get started shall we.

Picked up this book based on the cover and that I really do like most of the Forgotten Realms books. My biggest gripe usually is that I don't want to read a book about something that happened in the Forgotten Realms past, like if I already know the outcome from another book in another series, the journey itself doesn't really do much for me. Hence the reason I picked up this book and series, it’s something new in the Forgotten Realms universe.

Now maybe I read into this series a little too much, but really what it is about is Dragons going crazy and then laying wanton destruction. Not just the evil dragons, but the good dragons (gold, bronze etc..) also can be affected by this madness. Ok so here is my theory, read that again, theory, I often wonder why after thousands and thousands of years we don't get a more modern society over there in the Forgotten Realms. Ok now here comes the first argument I want to refute, "Why should they, I mean they have magic". True, but we both know the good ole peasant class or heck even the merchant class sitting over in Waterdeep wouldn't mind having a pistol at their hip or being able to perform a surgery at the doctor instead of finding a priest. Ok so my thought is that since these dragons rage every once in a while (read every hundred or thousand years) that this is what keeps society magic based and not industrialized. My dilemma is going to be once this series is over and if the dragon rage is cured, but I guess we leave that for another day.

Ok so we have our group of heroes with I guess a central hero of the character Dorn. Dorn is half golem half human, all dragon fighter. His parents killed by dragons he wants to destroy them all. But alas as all story twists go, now he is fighting to save them all from this rage, even if he is doing it reluctantly. No spoilers here, but he is tracking down these answers because it looks like an evil cult is trying to control the dragon madness and twist it for its own evil purposes. Cool thing is we get our fun friends the dracolich, which to all you non geeks is an undead dragon. It seems they are not affected by this madness so why not turn all dragons undead. We also have the obglitory thief in the group (Will) which is of course the humorous one, and banters back and forth with the cleric of the bunch (Pavel). To round out the party we have a dwarf and a bard who is more then she seems. The other part of the story plays out with Taegan who is not only a fencing master, but also an avariel, which is a winged elf. About halfway through the book we get Dorn's party and Taegan meeting up to combat this problem of the dragon madness.

Now I don't know about the rest of you, but had I come across a plot like this, I think I would have just dug a hole, let the dragons fight it out and come crawling back out when the madness was over. Oh that’s right as a story twist the madness is so bad this time it might never end, which leads to a council of the good dragons, making some pretty horrible decisions for supposedly being so smart and learned.

Overall a decent start to a series, many clichés of the genre can be seen in the book, but it does a good job of keeping the interparty conflict up, and a truly good reason to save the world that affects not just the party but the rest of the world. Complaint here that not only are the dragons pretty easy to kill for this group of 4 people but it doesn't really seem like the party has that many weapons at their disposal to do so as easily as they do. I guess it is because this group is dedicated to dragon killing that they make it seem like a walk in the park. The last part of the book plays a little slow but hopefully it will pick up again during the next book.

Dalerone

Related FBS Reviews-

The City of Ravens reviewed by Dalerone

_{Fantasybookspot - fantasy book reviews and fantasy book author interviews}